i am married to an amazing man. he is my best friend, my lover, my companion.
he's been gone for months.
i found someone i adore, and i invited him to my place for... fun.
and i'm scared because i don't feel guilty or wrong, though i know i should.
it's awful. and i'm full of self hate, anger, and loneliness, but not guilt. not anything that i thought i should feel. maybe it will change after it has happened.
Current Mood: discontent